Money and You Blog

I found the secret to creating Heaven on Earth in the oddest of circumstances: A backyard barbecue.
While setting the table with condiments for our hamburgers, my friend Cherrie said, “Don’t put the mayo out for me; I don’t use it.” “Me, neither,” said Jim. “It’s for Glenn,” I replied, as I placed it on the table.
Next, I put out the ketchup and barbeque sauce. “Just mustard for me,” said Jim cheerily. “Me, too” said Cherrie. “Mustard? Really?” I said wide-eyed. How interesting. I never think of mustard when I’m constructing a delicious, juicy burger. Hot dogs, yes, hamburgers, no. Hmmm… So, ok, I got out the mustard.
Ketchup for me. No… today I think I’ll use Thousand Island dressing. Mayo and barbeque sauce for Glenn. Mustard for Jim and Cherrie. Okey dokey.
That’s when the BFO hit me. (BFO: “Blinding Flash of the Obvious”) What would life be like if I could view all choices people make with the same interested yet dispassionate way as I did with choices for hamburger toppings?
“I’m going to the XYZ church/mosque/temple this weekend,” someone might say. “How interesting,” I would think. “I don’t know much about that denomination. What’s it like?”
When I hear, “I think the federal government should stop funding education/nuclear weapons/environmental controls/business loans,” I would say, “How interesting. Where else could the money come from, or are you thinking that we don’t need…”
“I’m Pro-Choice/Pro-Life.” “How interesting,” I’d say. “Do you mind sharing your thoughts on that?” (“Get rid of the labels!” I remind myself, thinking of some labels that have been laden with inaccurate and hurtful assumptions about me.)
This condiment-approach to others’ choices opens the door to building relationships beyond labels, beyond stereotypes, beyond pre-conceived notions of what someone is like. It replaces self-created drama, angst, and negative thoughts with an unattached interest in another, opening unlimited pathways to expanding my world.
Please note this distinction: Honoring others’ choices is about being accepting of others, not dispassionate about life. I’m not suggesting that we become disinterested in issues of importance to us. As rEvolutionaries, we are called upon to offer our thoughts, feelings and actions to make our world a better place. Now, with this hamburger helper, I can do it even better by forwarding positive ideas without making anyone else wrong.
How interesting.
By Marian Head, 1985 Money & You Graduate
Reprinted with permission from Revolutionary News (www.RevolutionaryAgreements.com/news)

Posted by Excellerated Business Schools at 10:38 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

November 2001. Influenced by the horrors of September 11, I decided not to wait until January to write my annual New Year’s letter. With Thanksgiving only three weeks away, I decided to move out of the numbness that set in on 9-11 by entering into the fullness of gratitude.
I started each paragraph in my Thanksgiving letter with “I am thankful for…” The goodness in my life unfolded before me. On each copy of the letter, I scribed a personal note. It was simply life-changing. Before writing each of those 130 notes, I took time to think about the person who would receive that letter. I wrote what was in my heart, expressing my deep gratitude for the special way that person touched my life. Tears of appreciation flowed as I moved into an almost overwhelming state of thankfulness. Taking this time, which was substantial, to consider how each person had graced me with their presence resulted in an outpouring of appreciation, forgiveness (sometimes of myself) and bountiful love.
I remember writing those love notes everywhere: daily at my desk during the weeks leading up to our Thanksgiving visit with my mom, at the dining room table, on the little tray table on the airplane to Florida, and on my lap in the car when Glenn was driving the hour to mom’s house from the airport. After signing the last letter in the car that day, a feeling of deep satisfaction flowed through me. I said to my darling husband, “I feel complete.” Feeling more peaceful than I had in years, I added, “I could die at any time now, knowing that I’ve said everything I want to say to those I love.”
In the spiritual chrysalis that had formed around me during those weeks of gratitude, I had transformed. The numbness lifted and my life was renewed.
With Thanksgiving upon us, I am reminded of the gift of time I took in those weeks to be present in Spirit with each person I know and love. I choose to do this again. While the result may not be something tangible like a letter, it will be a deepening of my connection to you, and to all life here on Earth and beyond. As Johannes A. Gaertner, author of Worldly Virtues says so beautifully:
To speak gratitude is courteous and pleasant,
To enact gratitude is generous and noble,
But to live gratitude is to touch Heaven.
May you experience the fullness of Heaven on Earth this Thanksgiving.

By Marian Head, 1985 Money & You Graduate
Reprinted with permission from Revolutionary News (www.RevolutionaryAgreements.com/news)

Posted by Excellerated Business Schools at 10:36 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)